Apologies to Irving Berlin (and how many of you are saying Who?), but I want to begin this week by getting appropriately seasonal and singing, “I’m dreaming of Indict Christmas/ Hope it’s the last one I will knowwwwwww.” Merry Indictmas, everybody!
Which brings up a question. What do you think the chances are that Dum Dum is president for more than one Christmas? The way things are going, do you really think he’s gonna be anywhere near D.C. in a year? If it was legal to bet on political props in Vegas sports books (and it’s not), I wonder what the line would be?
You remember all that nice stuff I said about Senators McCain, Murkowski, and Collins a few months ago after the vote on the repeal of the ACA? Yeah, well, I take it all back. Fuck ’em. They all sold out big time to Mitch and Trump on this POS tax bill. All of McCain’s claptrap about how it’s so frigging important to “respect doing business in the Senate the proper way” turned out to absolute, stone cold, unadulterated balderdash (which is how stuffy old British dudes used to say bullshit!). What are we supposed to think of a gigantic piece of legislation that was completely marred and made ridiculous with last minute changes scribbled illegibly in the page margins? The goddamn thing looked like the first draft of a freshman term paper! What are we supposed to make of this handwritten mess of lobbyists’ favors then being voted on almost instantly, without a reasonable and proper and professional rewrite, because these villainous Retardlican jerkoffs wouldn’t dare allow anybody, even on a weekend, to actually read this steaming shitloaf? And it’s also fair to ask—how many out and out mistakes are now included in this mess and on the verge of becoming law? It’s utterly embarrassing and a very sad day for the United Snakes of America. This is the kind of two-bit horseshit they pull off in pseudo-democracies like Kazakhstan or Slobbovia. And we just did it here. Open, brazen legislative fellatio of the plutocracy. Yum, yum, yum.
And when you get confused and overwhelmed about the Russia investigation and your head begins to throb, just remember this—the simple truth that’s at the heart of the whole story. Trump and his henchmen have been remarkably consistent about one thing—they lie about everything. Everything. Why? This ain’t brain surgery, folks! Above all, protect the conspiracy. Above all, protect the conspiracy. Above all, protect the conspiracy. Above all, protect the conspiracy. Above all.