OK, so Comey just testified, and something tells me I’m not the only one that is hoping like hell that Mr. Comey can at least partially redeem himself for his crummy October 2016. One way he can do that very nicely would be by delivering a ’nad-flattening kick to the nutsack of one President Dum Dum.
And, yes, if Big Jim comes up a little lame and fails to cough up any really good flame-throwing, eyebrow-singing verbal napalm on Twitler, it’ll be—a disappointment. A big disappointment. Of course it will. We’re all pulling for Comey to dig down deep and pull out some tip top gunk of a kind that will make Trump go home and tweet, “I’m hosed.” And this gunk can’t just be gunky, but IRREFUTABLE. Granted, that’s a very high bar of expectation, for sure, but, hey, a guy can dream, right? (Actually, an even better tweet would be, “i’m fuckd”—definitely sic—which would be tweeted out not just impulsively, but downight rashly, before Reince and/or Kellyanne got a chance to proof it, and it remained online for only 12 minutes, but that was long enough to circle the globe 17 times.)
I think the boy has some game. Comey, that is. I think he’s gonna bring some goods. He does indeed seem to be a bit of a grandstander, and, in this instance, that’s cool. That’s very cool. You don’t want a guy up there who’s gonna shrivel in the heat, ’cuz it’ll be plenty hot there in the glare of that hearing. So, yeah, grandstand away, dude. Shit, bring some charts and stuff.
You know what Dum Dum’s pissed about. The numbers. The ratings. He knows Comey is gonna score big time. Huge Neilsens. And for a boring old federal hearing? Yagotta befuggin kiddinme! Trump’s hating him. Hating him! Big numbers, all demos, the bastard. “The bastard! Where’s my phone? Where is it? Goddammit, Jared, I need my phone! Jared!!! Now!”
You think the Chinese aren’t enjoying the vision of Trump lighting himself on fire on a weekly basis while simultaneously stepping on his tadger (not an easy trick to master). You think the Chinese don’t stand in silent awe as Twitler effortlessly pisses off and frustrates best buds like Germany and the U.K.? You think the Chinese aren’t absolutely drooling over the positively gaping opportunities suddenly made available by America’s quick right turn into the freaking Stone Age?
The plot is quickening and thickening, and one wonders if it gets sickening with the dickening. But, by now, it just doesn’t seem all that fake.