Back in 2023, when I was unimpressed with Scream VI after the promising Scream 5 (aka Scream 2022), I wrote this:
“You know things are a little off when a film franchise relies on Skeet Ulrich cameos to provide big moments. Hey, producers: Let pop culture and the internet infect themselves further for a couple of years before doing another Scream movie. I’m sure the world will be screwy enough by 2025 or 2026 to give Scream writers all sorts of new fodder.”
I was right about one thing: We got another Scream movie in 2026. And while the word is plenty screwy, did the franchise get “all sorts of new fodder”? Nope.
Scream 7 is the sort of desperate film a franchise delivers when producers are devoid of good ideas. This is The Rise of Skywalker of the Scream franchise, a blatant attempt to feed off nostalgia and fan service rather than develop a novel idea for movie.
It panders to fans of the original stuff that came out 30 years ago, almost completely ignoring the Jenna Ortega/Melissa Barrera step in the right direction from 5 and—to a lesser extent—6. Neve Campbell is back after the salary feud that prompted her exit from the franchise, with her return a necessity after Barrera was fired and Ortega had “scheduling conflicts.”
Also back is original screenwriter Kevin Williamson, and this time, he’s getting a chance to direct, too—both very bad ideas. Williamson had some good ideas three decades ago, but the well has run dry. Allowing him to direct only his second feature film ever (after 1999’s Teaching Mrs. Tingle) with the franchise in crisis mode results in a discombobulated travesty.
The main thrust of the story covers Sidney (Campbell) and her predictably tense relationship with daughter Tatum (Isabel May). Sidney doesn’t want Tatum to become her, and Tatum wants to be more like her legendary mom, and blah blah blah.
Most of the Easter-egg stuff in this movie, and the meta play, happens in an OK opening sequence during which a couple (Michelle Randolph and Jimmy Tatro) visit the murder house of original Scream killer Stu Macher (Matthew Lillard), which has been turned into a tourist attraction. It’s the only part of the movie that almost has a pulse.
The rest of this film is relentlessly dumb, with Williamson attempting throwbacks that just don’t come together. Do I expect Scream movies to be firmly grounded in the physics of modern technology and reality? No, not really. Does this film go too far with its jabs at said modern technology—with AI deep fakes and high-grade short films produced on the fly in order to help maintain a killer’s mayhem show? Yeah, Scream 7 is ridiculous.
As for Campbell, she gives it her all; this film shortcomings are not her fault. Courteney Cox’s Gale Weathers shows up as well—and the utterly ridiculous way in which her character enters the fray is the precise moment when Scream 7 shoots itself in the face. And could we please get the excellent and talented Mckenna Grace into a decent movie? Her agent needs to go bye-bye.
Of course, this sort of affair can be redeemed somewhat in the reveal of the killer/killers. When the mask came off in this one, it took me a bit to figure out who in the hell the character was. My previous lampooning of parts of this series as R-rated Scooby-Doo episodes has achieved full realization. It’s comical how bad the reveal is in this installment.
It was no secret that the likes of Lillard and David Arquette, despite their characters Stu and Dewey being long dead, appear in this film. The way they are brought back counts as the film’s most shameful, wasted opportunity. There have been a few horror-movie franchises lately, including Halloween, that have used the “retcon” approach. Williamson and pals had a nice chance to really riff on that phenomenon. Alas, they blow it entirely.
Hypothetically, how cool—and self-aware—would it have been had they unmasked the killer in this movie, and it was somebody like the original Scream’s first victim, Drew Barrymore? She’d be all like, “Yeah, hey friends, forget about the movie where I died … all the horror movies are skipping chapters now and ignoring canon! I’m back! I’m Queen of the Retcon, and I’m killing things now! It’s soooo great! Let’s make some Jiffy-Pop! I brought my dog; isn’t he cute! Wes Craven rules!” And then she’d start interviewing everybody and legit crying like she does on her talk show.
That would’ve probably marked the last Scream movie for sure, but the series would’ve gone out with a solid meta punchline. We’d all be in shock, looking at each other like, “What the fuck just happened?” Instead, we’re openly snoring in the theater—with the franchise’s door left open for other shit movies.
And rest assured, there will be more. The current downward spiral of the Scream series, along with the general collapse of modern civilization, will continue. Neve … you’ve got another big payday coming!