Every November, food and wine writers across the country dust off the same old advice column about what to pair with turkey. You know the one: “Pinot noir and cranberry sauce are a match made in heaven,” or, “Riesling cuts through the richness of gravy.”
Cute. True. Heard it.
This year, I’m skipping the pairing talk and tackling the real Thanksgiving wine challenge: how to protect your good bottles from your family. Because somewhere between the turkey carving and the football game, that bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape you’ve been saving for years is about to meet its worst enemy: Uncle Bob, who thinks “Brunello” is a new electric car and describes all red wine as “nice and dry.”
So instead of wine pairings, here are a few tried-and-true industry tricks from my sommelier friends and me to help you enjoy your favorite bottles—without sharing them with the masses who think “chablis” always comes in a three-liter jug.
1. The Bathroom Wine Strategy
This is one of my personal go-to moves. It’s simple, elegant and effective: Pour yourself a glass of “bathroom wine.”
Stash your favorite wine glass and a bottle or decanter of your good stuff in the bathroom—on the counter, next to the bathtub, or even in the shower, whatever works. Then, when Aunt Margie starts mashing the potatoes with the same vigor she uses to recount her bunion surgery, politely excuse yourself.
Step away from the chaos; lock the door; pour yourself a splash; enjoy five glorious minutes of peace. Listen to the hum of family life muffled through the walls while you savor the fine structure and balance of your secret glass.
The beauty of “bathroom wine” is twofold: Not only do you get to enjoy your special bottle without interruption; you also get the rarest Thanksgiving luxury of all—solitude.
2. Dresser Wine: A Pre-Game Ritual
My friend Chris, a fellow sommelier and general wine genius, swears by what he calls “dresser wine.” It’s the bottle he and his wife open while they’re getting ready for the day’s festivities—before the guests arrive, before the oven timer starts dinging, before the turkey panic sets in.
“It’s always Champagne,” he told me, with the reverence usually reserved for sacred rituals. “It sets the tone. We pour two glasses, finish getting ready, and share a toast to surviving the day ahead.”
There’s something beautifully civilized about this—a little pre-game sparkle before the doorbell rings. It’s a reminder that Thanksgiving is supposed to be fun, not a triathlon of gravy boats, side-eye and small talk.
And if you think about it, Champagne goes with everything—especially getting dressed. So yes, keep a cold bottle of bubbles in your bedroom, and start your holiday on a high note.
3. The Laundry Room Cellar
If the bathroom feels too obvious and the bedroom too sacred, allow me to suggest another prime hiding spot: the laundry room. It’s the Switzerland of the household—neutral territory. No one lingers there unless something’s on fire or the dryer has eaten a sock.
You can, however, casually “check on the dryer” as many times as you like. Pour a small glass, and revel in the hum of the spin cycle while sipping something that puts a smile on your face. There’s something poetic about enjoying a wine with finesse while surrounded by Tide pods and lost buttons.
Plus, if anyone wanders in, you have a perfect alibi: “I’m just making sure the tablecloth gets dry in time.”
4. The Decoy Bottle Trick
Sommelier Blair—an industry veteran and unflappable host—takes a more tactical approach to holiday wine survival: the decoy bottle.
Here’s how it works: Instead of leaving your prized 2008 Barolo out for anyone with no sense of shame, grab a few empty bottles from your recycling bin—the cheaper-looking, the better. Clean them thoroughly, and then refill them with your good stuff. If you’ve got an unlabeled “shiner” bottle lying around, even better. Write “cooking wine” directly on the glass with a marker, and set it on the kitchen counter next to the gravy pan.
To the untrained eye, it’s just another sad bottle destined for the saucepan. But you and Blair know the truth: That humble decoy is quietly housing a masterpiece. While everyone else is busy topping off their glasses with the practical “value” wines you selected, you’re savoring a perfectly aged Barolo that’s finally opened up—because, bonus, pouring it into another bottle has essentially decanted it.
This trick has everything a sommelier could want from a covert operation: discretion, efficiency and plausible deniability.
5. BYOW (Bring Your Own Wineglass)
If you can’t hide your wine, hide your glass. Seriously—a discreetly labeled glass can save your favorite pour from turning into a communal tasting flight.
A piece of washi tape with your name on it, a colored marker on the stem, or even a little wine charm can make all the difference. This way, when Cousin Derek walks by holding a Solo cup and says, “What’re we drinking?” you can smile sweetly and point him toward the open bottles on the bar.
Meanwhile, your personal glass stays topped with your favorite Bordeaux—untouched, unshared and undiluted by melted ice cubes.
6. Redefine “Sharing”
Before you call me selfish, let’s get one thing straight: This isn’t about hoarding. It’s about curation.
You wouldn’t serve white truffle risotto to someone who puts ketchup on their steak. So why pour your $80 bottle of aged Burgundy for the same person who once told you their favorite wine was “the blue one with the kangaroo”?
If you genuinely want to share, pour your special bottle for the few people who will appreciate it—your wine-curious cousin, your foodie friend, your favorite aunt who once taught you how to swirl. Create a little side-tasting moment before dinner. A secret club, if you will.
This way, you still spread the love—just selectively.
7. The Postgame Pour
Finally, save a splash for yourself for later. When the dishes are done, the leftovers are packed, and everyone’s fighting over the remote, sneak back to your stash.
Pour one more small glass of the good stuff, and toast yourself for surviving another holiday with grace, humor and a memorable bottle.
In the end, Thanksgiving isn’t about perfect pairings or impressing anyone—it’s about finding joy in the small, delicious moments. Like a secret sip of wine behind a locked bathroom door.
This November, don’t sweat the pairings. Instead, stock your hiding spots; label your glass; and remember: There’s no shame in keeping a little bottle of happiness just for yourself.
This column originally appeared in our sister paper, the Coachella Valley Independent. Katie Finn is a certified sommelier and certified specialist of wine with two decades in the wine industry. She can be reached at katiefinnwine@gmail.com.