Sarah Rively strode into Pignic Pub and Patio just after 5 o’clock on a chilly recent evening wearing a signature flowy dress—and a wide smile. She’s the founder of Curious in the City, a brand that helps sober and sober-curious people navigate Reno’s nightlife scene.
After some pleasantries, Rively took a seat at the bar without hesitation, beamed at the bartender and ordered a City of Page mocktail.
A couple of others sat at the bar, ringing in Wednesday evening with a whiskey straight and a beer, respectively. Sitting next to Rively, I eyed the bartender, curious whether her mocktail order would be greeted with disdain.
“There would be too many times that I’d be out, and a bartender would not want to make something nonalcoholic,” Rively said. “They didn’t understand the concept … or kind of poo poo you and say, ‘Then don’t come out.’”
The bartender gave her full attention to Rively’s drink—consisting of Lyre’s Dark Cane Non-Alchoholic (NA) Spirit, a rum alternative; Lyre’s Apértif Rosso NA Spirit; lime; and passionfruit—carefully presenting it in a textured rocks glass, garnished with a dehydrated lime slice.
Opting out of booze while opting into nightlife
There are a lot of reasons people are going out but not drinking. For Reno native Diana Bradbury, her sobriety is tied to moving back home after a 12-year hiatus.
“Growing up here, I drank a lot, and I continued that for many years,” she said. “I wasn’t a daily drinker; I was a social drinker. But my decision-making went off the deep end, and I did a lot of stuff that I regretted. I knew that moving back to Reno, I wouldn’t survive if I kept drinking here, specifically where bars don’t close. (Sobriety) was definitely something that needed to happen in my life.”
However, Bradbury’s relocation has also given her a desire to socialize and meet people.
“Since I just moved back, my options are kind of limited as for what to do socially,” she said. “I want to go out. I also love to dance. I love to do karaoke. I love to do a lot of things that happen in places where people are drinking.”
Bradbury said she appreciates how much the climate in Reno’s nightlife scene has changed, allowing more space for non-drinkers.
“It’s definitely leaps and bounds different from a decade ago,” she said.
At bars, she usually opts for an NA beer. She also lauded the menu of lavish, tropical-themed mocktails at Rum Sugar Lime.
“It is a really cool way to remove the awkward conversation and the stigma behind (sobriety),” Bradbury said.
“I found I was being hit over the head with the message that motherhood and alcohol are equal partners. And that became increasingly alarming to me.”
Sarah Rively
Rively started exploring sobriety when she became pregnant in 2018.
“I found I was being hit over the head with the message that motherhood and alcohol are equal partners,” she said. “And that became increasingly alarming to me as I looked at myself, my relationships and the bigger picture.”
Rively didn’t immediately jump on the wagon. As the COVID-19 pandemic unfurled, she felt compelled to patronize local restaurants and bars by purchasing takeout cocktails. “As the supporter of Reno that I am, I felt like I single-handedly needed to keep the bars in service,” she said. “… It felt like every day was just an excuse to drink.”
She said she never had a relationship with alcohol that felt abusive or addictive, even during the COVID-19 shutdowns. But she does love to celebrate.
“Reno celebrates everything, but everything celebrates with alcohol—bar crawls, wine crawls, paint-and-sips—the list goes on, but everything involves alcohol,” Rively said.
A 2021 Newsweek article lists Reno as having the third-highest number of bars per capita in the nation, 14 per 10,000 households. Reno even surpassed Las Vegas, which came in sixth.
Rively’s previous experience with sobriety led her to read Sober Curious, a handbook to sober living by lifestyle journalist Ruby Warrington. The book inspired Rively to separate herself from societal pressures, empowering her to create the type of relationship she wanted to have with alcohol.
“Just because society says one thing doesn’t mean that you have to do that,” she said. “And that seems so obvious, but alcohol is such an intricate part of society that it’s hard to separate.”
Rively said she started Curious in the City in part to be a more-present mother.
“But as I’ve grown, the real goal is to help the community socialize safely,” she said.
She described her business, which formally launched in January with a party at Pignic, as “your guide to sober entertainment in Reno.” Curious in the City connects people who are sober-curious to welcoming places where they can navigate nightlife and support local businesses without the pressure to consume alcohol. Plans are in the works for an interactive map on the website, as well as an app that lists restaurants, venues and bars that offer NA drink menus. A participating business must have dedicated and regular NA offerings, which might include zero-proof beer and wine, or a craft mocktail menu. Rively does not include businesses that simply offer soda or juice to sober patrons.
She also envisions the Curious in the City logo to be a beacon displayed in the front windows of participating businesses. She likens it to a National Safe Place sign—a yellow sign indicating to youth that a business or organization is a safe place for them to request help with homelessness, abuse or suicide ideation.
“If you’re walking up and down Midtown with your girls and you don’t know where to stop, you have a recognizable brand that you know you trust,” she said.
The nuances of ‘sober curious’
After celebrating more than three years of sobriety, Rively said she finds the power to abstain from drinking by labeling herself as “curious.” She initially called the business “Sober Mom Reno,” but realized that she wanted it to be more inclusive.
“People have opinions about (the word) sobriety,” she explained, calling it “a triggering word.” In contrast, “sober curious” describes a spectrum of people who are re-evaluating how alcohol fits into their lives.
Rively said she likes the freedom of avoiding an all-or-nothing approach to alcohol. A study conducted by industry analyst IWSR found that 41 percent of consumers who contribute to the no- or low-alcohol market seek full-strength drinks on occasion.
“I want to empower people to make that choice again, whether you’re abstaining for a week or about to celebrate three years,” Rively said. “Whatever it is, (Curious in the City) wants to be there for your journey and to support you for that.”
However, a lot of non-drinkers want to avoid the nightlife scene, perhaps because they’re facing addiction, or they’re not comfortable being around alcohol. Curious in the City aims to help people in those positions by planning private sober events.
“Going to a bar and having a mocktail is not for everyone,” Rively said.
She’s thinking about events like sober paint-and-sip nights, drag brunches and baby showers.
“There’s a really cool community here of nondrinkers. … Once you start talking about it, it’s exciting to see who comes out of the woodwork,” she said.
Rively’s model is new in Reno. National sites like The Sober Curator don’t include Reno-specific events or content. A popular sober dating app called Loosid does include Reno, but it tends to favor chain restaurants such as The Cheesecake Factory, Chili’s and Olive Garden.
Not drinking in spaces meant for drinking
In 2023, Rively was awarded the Windfeldt INSPIRE Award from the Dry Society Social Club, a local organization that “empowers individuals and communities by promoting a sober lifestyle and providing resources and support.” The award, named after Dry Society Social Club founder Lori Windfeldt, recognized Rively as an inspiration to the community through her work founding Curious in the City. She is the third recipient of this award, following Laura Van Antwerp (2022), author and founder of Your Sober Pal Adventures; and Celeste Yvonne (2021), author and sobriety coach.
While a lot of voices in the sober community discuss personal growth, online communities and resources for help, Rively is focused on what happens next—after people re-enter the nightlife world and want to navigate social spaces where sobriety is not the default.
As Rively talked about these women, she unknowingly highlighted an important distinction between them and herself. While a lot of voices in the sober community discuss personal growth, online communities and resources for help, Rively is focused on what happens next—after people re-enter the nightlife world and want to navigate social spaces where sobriety is not the default.
“Certain places lend to different atmospheres and different conversations and different feels,” Rively said. “Again, why did I invite you here (to Pignic) versus a coffee shop? Timing. We are meeting after work, so let’s go somewhere fun. What the average person does after work is go get a cocktail. I’m no different.”
As we talk, the ice melts into my How the West Was Won mocktail, made with Lyre’s American Malt—a bourbon alternative—along with spiced syrup and NA walnut bitters. It does not totally replicate the hearty sting of my beloved old fashioned, a cocktail with which I now have a twisted relationship as I begin my own sober-curious journey. But it does help create a kindred experience.
“We want to feel grown up,” Rively said. “We want to feel classy, elegant, sexy holding a cocktail. But I don’t want to have any of the effects that I know were poisoning my system.”
Swirling my mocktail around and experiencing its crafted flavor, I felt grown up, like I belonged in a bar environment. I didn’t feel like a child tagging along for the night. Most importantly, I didn’t feel like I was taking up space in a place that isn’t meant for me.
One week after I met Rively, a friend suggested a post-hike drink at a popular Tahoe resort bar. After squeezing into the crowded space, I asked for a hot chocolate; the bartender replied by placing a cocktail menu in front of me and pointing to a hot drink made with rum.
Rively has a message for bartenders and bar managers who look down on non-drinkers: “I’ve heard from other sober people (that) we end up tipping better, having more fun and dancing more recklessly, all when we’re sober,” she said.
An article published in the January 2019 issue of the academic research journal Chemical Senses compared the brain’s responses to alcoholic versus NA beer, and it supports Rively’s theory: “NA-beer, that is, a flavor associated with alcohol, induced similar reductions in arousal … and increases in feelings of pleasure as alcohol-containing beverages do.”
Thanks to forward-thinking bar managers at places like Pignic, Death and Taxes, and Rum Sugar Lime, there is a growing acceptance of NA drinkers among Reno businesses.
“Full inclusivity for any guest who walks in the doors is obviously a very important part of creating a great guest experience,” said Ivan Fontana, owner of Death and Taxes, in a phone interview. “They want to feel included. We have, since day one, always had a nonalcoholic cocktail portion of our list, just exactly for those reasons.”
The bar’s NA menu is reasonably priced ($11 a drink) and features drinks like the “Ginger,” made with house ginger beer, vanilla, orange and lime.
“I think many times, people are blown away at the fact that there’s actual thought and creativity put into the nonalcoholic portion just as much as it is put into the ingredients that are used in the alcoholic variations,” Fontana said. “Nobody would be the wiser. They would think it’s just a great cocktail.”
Curious in the City’s next event is “Savor the Moment,” a dinner party co-hosted with interior design firm Flow Designs featuring tastings from NA wine brand Jøyus Wines and NA mocktails created by Pignic, from 6 to 9 p.m., Friday, Feb. 2, at 129 Bell St., in Reno. On Saturday, March 9, Curious in the City will provide sober experimental lounges for “Music Festival in March,” an event that showcases female musicians across Reno venues. Learn more at curiousinthecity.com.