Hey, how about that Department of Justice investigation into Hillary Clinton? (Code named Something! Anything! Goddammit!) Shockingly, It came up with a big fat zilch zippo zero. Absolutely nothing. Lock her up? How about leave her the fuck alone? “Well, OK, let’s check her library card. Maybe something there. Nunes, get on that.” OK, so let’s get that big bad Andy McCabe, arch-enemy of Zombie Cult 45. And, gee, once again, the DOJ steps squarely upon its severely bruised johnson. Nada. Negative. A big fat nothing burger.

Gee, how did that happen? Obviously, the Deep State has some really good lawyers! And now, over 2,000 ex-DOJ officials have signed off on the “Hey, Bill Barr, quit being a suckup coffee boy for Dipshit” letter. Not 20, not 200. Two thousand. That’s not a nothing burger.

Republicans are having a tough millennium. Proof? The last two Republican administrations have been the two worst administrations in the history of America. This is now inarguable, indisputable fact. We all know Dubya was hideous. We were there. And then Agent Orange rumbles in. “I’ll see your hideous and raise you a raving, insane abomination.” Everyone meekly folds. Amazingly, Twitler makes people actually long for Dubya, which is an extremely bizarre concept and yet one to which I can relate and grasp. But really, GOP, it’s time to up your game. I mean, ferfuxake!

In the last couple of weeks, millions of us Dems woke up to Bloomberg. Woke up to the possibility of, “Hey, maybe this is the guy.” As I noted last week, he’s got a couple of strong things going for him, not the least of which is his dough.

But what got us revved up, I’d guess, is not the money, but that he comes off like a man who could kick Trump’s ass up between his shoulder blades. And for approximately 97 percent of us Dems this year, that’s the only thing that matters. This ain’t quantum physics, folks. It’s the question for 2020. “Can you kick Trump’s mottled, horrible ass?” That’s it. Issues, schmissues. We know issues and policies will all improve greatly, automatically and immediately. All of them. Just kick Dum Dum’s ass!

So, OK, many of us think Bloomberg could do just that. What about the others? Could Bernie thump Trump? I think he could. Every time I listen to him, I gotta admit, he’s right on. How about Mayor Pete? I don’t know. Biden? Yes. I think? Liz? Yes. Steyer? Yes. Amy? I’m not sure. Hey, nobody’s perfect. Everybody has vulnerable spots (but especially that lugnut in the White House).

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