So I’m not quite sure how (1) potentially igniting a major war, (2) making possible the return of a maniacal bloodthirsty ISIS, (3) monkey-wrenching national health care, (4) getting IMPEACHED, fercrissake, and (5) just being an all-around raving superschmuck is supposed to be…….the fast track to guaranteed re-election? Say what?

If Iran is fired up for revenge, one can’t help but wonder if a certain group of hotels here in America might now be considered super plum, soft targets—including a rather large, ostentatious establishment right smack dab on the Las Vegas Strip. Just sayin’ …

Possible super juicy stuff is beginning to leak from journalists at Forensic News, who are talking to the son of a Deutsche Bank official who knew a lot about The Trump Account there. Interestingly, that official committed suicide, which is … interesting. So his son has been going through dad’s stuff, and the story that’s emerging is … interesting.

Many observers have wondered for years just why the bleep Deutsche Bank would give hundreds of millions to Trump when every other bank in the USA was telling Don Don to buzz the hell off after the disastrous financial performance of his properties in Atlantic City. Back then, Twitler was pretty much radioactive, his loan requests to be shredded and burned. So why did Deutsche Bank go out on The Limb? Well, as it turns out, maybe DB wasn’t taking any risk whatsoever. Because it appears the Bank may have had a co-signer for those whopping Trump loans, a co-signer with plenty of collateral to make DB real comfy about the deal. That generous co-signer, a Russian bank (No!) named VTB, owned by oligarchs (you’re kidding!) who were very high on Trump, since his properties were providing just yummy havens for money laundering.

It all makes sense. The Russians did Trump a solid. VTB (Vlad’s Titanic Bank) told Deutsche Bank, “Don’t worry. He’s good. We got his back,” which would explain Trump’s consistently cringeworthy ass-kissing of Putin and his billionaire buds. This ain’t quantum physics, folks. Trump owes everything in his flim-flam psuedo-empire to Putin and Them Oligarchs—which would explain why Trump won’t give up Financial Document One to Congress, which would explain why Trump clings to his tax returns and DB papers like a drowning man clings to a life preserver.

Pee-pee pics from the Ritz? Nobody gives a bleep about those, if they even exist at all. That’s so 2017! It could very well be, in the end, all about those DB loans. Who would be surprised?

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