Look, I really don’t want the first words out of my mouth this week to be “fucked up,” but it’s obviously too late to stop now. And when we consider the proposition that it’s not only likely but extremely probable that our “president” is running for a second term not for any impressive political goal, but so he can avoid going to effing prison, well, hell, I’d just like to stop and call a point of order because I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that this is a first for America. And one of the better ways to assess this particular predicament is just to go ahead and say it—this is fairly fucked up! There ya go!
Which reminds me, for some demented reason, of an old TV series way back in the ’50s, where most weeks, Dad would find some reason to roll out his trademark line, “What a revoltin’ development this is.” Any of you geezers remember the name of this show and the star who said those words?
•
Hey, give Mike Cohen some credit. I’m serious. You think it’s easy being America’s TV King for a day? Man, the heat was on, and he was in the Big Kitchen, where you can’t get away with even a quick nasal flick without launching a snarky barrage of international tweets, GIFs and memes! But Cohen kept himself remarkably together for what was basically a full tilt work day of fielding questions, half of which were civilized, half of which were ornery. Ole Lanny Davis had his boy coached up, and they were ready, and they deserve a pat on the back. Ultimately, Cohen came off as far more credible than the Trumpian lickspittles that hammered endlessly on their tiresome “Ooh, you are such a big, fat liar!” approach until Mike got frickin’ bored to death with it. As in, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, is that all you got? Jesus Christ, I could use a drink.”
•
Ok, the quiz answer is—The Life of Riley! Starring the forgotten William Bendix as Chester A. Riley, a wing riveter at an aircraft plant in California. You have to be quasi-ancient to remember this show, which ran from ’52 to ’58.
So far in 2019, there’s been the biggest coke bust in California history, the biggest coke bust in New York history and the biggest fentanyl bust ever. All at ports of entry. Which reminds us that of all the dumb ideas in Dum Dum’s head, The Wall is likely the dumbest.