Aren’t there days when you get up in the morning and say,
“Screw all that thumbsuckin’, serious, brow-furrowing
baloney”? Several weeks ago, editors at the World Headquarters of
the Reno News & Review were cogitating on fun things we
hadn’t done in a while (LIST: fishing, Samantha, hang gliding,
skipping stones, Twister and the List Issue). Looking for a little
mental rest and relaxation and free association, we sharpened up our
pencils, pulled out our refrigerator magnets and refrigerator and sat
down to play.

Flowers to plant next

Mexican primrose




Blanket flower





Morning glories

Russian sage



Black-eyed Susan



Top 10 favorite Bob Dylan songs (no

“Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right”

“Buckets of Rain”

“Tangled up in Blue”

“Motorpsycho Nitemare”

“Tomorrow is a Long Time”

“One Too Many Mornings”

“It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue”

“Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie”

“Shelter from the Storm”

“You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You

Things I use all the time that I never
thought of using 15 years ago

The internet


DVD player

Digital camera

Cell phone

Tea kettle

Reusable bag at grocers

Recycling bin

Movies I loved as a kid and now realize are stupid

Grease II

Pump up the Volume

Rocky IV




Road House

This week’s meal

Sunday: Taco dip salad at mom’s

Monday: Chicken divan, with mixed green and pear salad

Tues: leftovers

Wed: Apple-sage pork tenderloin with candied acorn squash and
Brussels sprouts; apple slices and caramel for dessert (company’s

Thurs: Spinach, leek, potato soup with sourdough bread

Fri: go out

Sat: I can’t think this far ahead

Vitamins and supplements I take daily

Green tea extract




Centrum Silver


Alpha Lipoic Acid

Fish oil


Sugar Free Metamucil

Things I keep putting

Putting sealant on the patio chairs

Painting the dining room

Changing my address with the DMV

Buying and sending Kat and Jake’s wedding present

Changing my beneficiary designation

Washing my car

Listening to a certain tape recorded more than two years ago

Buying wall art

Cleaning the shower

Recycling the plastic bags in my car trunk

Five good novels by local writers

A Cold War Story by Jim Conkey

Desert Gothic by Don Waters

Lift by Rebecca K. O’Connor

Shadows of Death by David Sundstrand

The Sinful Life of Lucy Burns by Elizabeth

Businesses I miss in Reno

Vino Reno: the best fondue in town, great atmosphere, reasonable
price. Please come back!

La Bussola: somehow Port of Subs just doesn’t take its

Liv: elegant, eco-friendly boutique on Cal Ave that didn’t
make it

Clay Nichols: elegant, artsy boutique on Cal Ave that didn’t
make it

10 songs with ‘Reno’ in the

Donna Jean Godchaux, “Reno”

Guttermouth, “I Read It On A Bathroom Wall In Reno”

John Loudermilk, “Rocks Of Reno”

Lacy J. Dalton and Sousa Beans, “Reno And Me”

R.E.M., “All The Way To Reno (You’re Gonna Be A

Rocky Votolato, “The Wrong Side Of Reno”

Suicide Note, “Reno and Blood”

Tony Christie, “Don’t Go Down To Reno”

Too Much Joy, “Thanksgiving In Reno”

Woody Guthrie, “Reno Blues (Philadelphia

10 Reno divorce movies that
aren’t The Misfits

The Divorcee (1917) Mary Anderson

Merry Wives of Reno (1934) Glenda Farrell

Next Time I Marry (1938) Lucille Ball

Mexican Spitfire Out West (1940) Lupe Velez

Maisie Goes to Reno (1944) Ann Southern

Vacation in Reno (1946) Anne Jeffreys

Phffft! (1954) Judy Holliday

The Opposite Sex (1956) June Allyson

Desert Hearts (1985) Helen Shaver

Edie & Pen (1996) Stockard Channing

Ingredients disclosed to the public in a Coca-Cola

Carbonated water

High fructose corn syrup

Phosphoric acid

Caramel color

Natural flavors


5 Words I Try Not to Use

1. Ironic

2. Utilize

3. Being

4. Bro

5. Interesting

5 Words I Use as Often As

1. Vagina

2. Love

3. Wu-Tang

4. Brother

5. Sister

Books that Amazon is sending me right

Low Moon

The Living and The Dead

The Left Bank Gang

Ideas for my next

Illustrations from comic book artist Jason

Logo from the band Andrew Bird’s Bowl of Fire.

“Free Pres2” written on my knuckles, the
“s2” written on the same knuckle.

Skeleton wearing a fedora, drinking a beer and sitting on top of a

Fahrenheit 451’s 50th anniversary

Last 10 places I used my debit

Jimmy Johns

Save Mart

Pub N’ Sub

Taco Del Mar

Century 12

Ben’s Liquor

Hollywood Video

BART (in San Francisco)

The Little Waldorf Saloon

Se7en Teahouse and Bar

Things I plan to do
this weekend in chronological order

Play racquetball

Play Magic: The Gathering

Play Dungeons and Dragons

Go to a house cooling party

Go to the beer crawl

Play racquetball, again

Go to my parents’ house to do laundry

Get penny burgers at the Little Waldorf Saloon

Unanswered Facebook requests

Friend requests:

Christopher Lu

Alex Gardner

Event invitations:

“The Voice Box Radio Show Joint Homecoming 2009

“Beatnik Party”

“Reno Beer Crawl: Halloween Homecoming edition”

Page suggestions:

“The Daily Sparks Tribune”

Ideas for Lists

1. Songs I Want Played at My Funeral

2. Songs I Want Played at My Wedding

3. Songs I Want Played Tonight When I Get Home from Work

4. Celebrities I Wouldn’t Mind My Fiancée Sleeping

5. Celebrities I Wouldn’t Want My Fiancée to be Mad at
Me for Sleeping With

6. Bands I Wish I Could’ve Seen

7. Bands I Still Need to See

8. Best Bands I’ve Seen

9. Best Meals in Reno

10. People in Reno I’d Like to Know Better

Top 20 Most Played Songs on my iPod

1. “Ain’t to Proud to Beg,” The Temptations

2. “Bo Diddley,” Bo Diddley

3. “Mona,” Bo Diddley

4. “Big Bird,” Eddie Floyd

5. “Spazz,” The Elastik Band

6. “My 1st Song,” Jay-Z

7. “Alone Again Or,” Love

8. “Talk Talk,” The Music Machine

9. “15 Steps,” Radiohead

10. “Rip This Joint,” The Rolling Stones

11. “Hey Girl, Don’t Bother Me,” The Tams

12. “My Girls,” Animal Collective

13. “Moulty,” The Barbarians

14. “Cheyla Ya Haiuune,” Group Doueh

15. “Primitive,” The Groupies

16. “Shadowboxin,’” GZA

17. “A House is Not a Motel,” Love

18. “Shake Your Hips,” The Rolling Stones

19. “I Zimbra,” Talking Heads

20. “Here ’Tis,” Bo Diddley

Unread books and magazines on my nightstand

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

American Theocracy by Kevin Phillips

The Misfits by Arthur Miller

Best of Alt Weekly Writing and Design 2008 by Heather Kuldell
and JonWhiten

Dark Ages America by Morris Berman

books and magazines on my nightstand

Where The Girls Are: Urban Lesbian Erotica by D.L. King

Men’s Health April 2008

Men’s Health September 2008

Men’s Health November 2008

Men’s Health October 2008

Best Life October 2008

Reno Passport September 2009

Ten local
organizations of which you’ve probably never heard

Honorary Deputy Sheriff’s Association:

Turkish Cultural Association:

The Reno Blues Society, for music lovers, not depressed

ProNet, an organization for unemployed professionals:

Nevada Judicial Historical Society, for followers of court history:

American Society of Trainers and Developers/Sierra Nevada Chapter,
for workplace trainers:

American Disc Jockey Association/Reno-Lake Tahoe Chapter:

Nevada Landmen’s Association, to cultivate ethics and
professionalism in mining and dialogue between the industry and

Nevada Green Party:

Andean Explorers Foundation & Ocean Sailing Club:

25 Things That Annoy Me

1. The Dave Matthews Band

2. The dead tree in my backyard

3. The lack of money in my bank account

4. Haters who refuse to acknowledge the global importance of

5. In the RN&R list issue from February 2007, in a list of
sexually suggestive song lyrics, somebody wrote “I’m your
backdoor man” and credited it to The Doors, even though Willie
Dixon wrote that song and Howling Wolf was the first to record it

6. Coworkers who whistle despite an inability to carry a tune

7. Hunger, both global and personal

8. The 20 extra pounds of fat I’ve been lugging around the
last couple of years

9. Having to get out of bed before 10 a.m.

10. Yard work

11. Shitty covers of good songs

12. The Eagles

13. People who assume I’m a religious zealot, or make jokes to
that effect, just because I have beard

14. Racism, homophobia and intolerance

15. The nagging feeling I have right now that there are important
annoyances I’m forgetting

16. Biters, imitators and copycats

17. Redundancy

18. Health problems

19. Health insurance companies

20. People who refuse to take responsibility for their own farts

21. How much I love McNuggets

22. Hangovers that seem disproportionate to the amount of alcohol
consumed the previous evening

23. Napoleon Dynamite

24. Misuse of the word “penultimate”

25. Bell peppers

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Dennis Myers

Dennis Myers was the news editor of the Reno News & Review. He was a journalist for more than four decades. In 1987-88 he was chief deputy secretary of state of Nevada. He was coauthor of Uniquely...