A talented actor, shown here with Keanu Reeves.
A talented actor, shown here with Keanu Reeves.

This review is coming to you from someone who counts The Bad News Bears amongst his all-time favorite movies. Hardball, starring Keanu Reeves as a down-and-out gambler coaching some inner city project kids in a youth baseball league, tries to be something akin to a modern-day remake of that classic, but it falls significantly short.

Itโ€™s not the kidsโ€™ fault that Hardball doesnโ€™t work as a whole. Anytime they are on screen, Hardball works remarkably well. Iโ€™d go as far as to call it downright enjoyable at times. Itโ€™s the crappy Keanu Reevesโ€™ side story involving his characterโ€™s gambling debt and love life that fails on every level, dragging this picture down like a sorry civilian who bet $10,000 on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays to win the World Series.

Reeves plays Conor Oโ€™Neill, a ticket scalper who has rung up a multi-thousand dollar debt with your usual array of shady characters. After going to his big-business office-type friend for a little monetary assistance, that friend offers him a deal: Coach some kids in baseball for 10 weeks, and heโ€™ll get $500 a week for the bookies. After some patented Keanu overacting, Conor relents, and itโ€™s off to the hood to hit some grounders.

The kids couldโ€™ve been great. They are as charming and funny as their 1976 Bears counterparts. The film follows some of the basic blueprints for a youth sports movie: the chubby kid with asthma; the pitcher who can only throw strikes if he can use his headphones, etc. The cast packs enough talent to overcome these stereotypes.

The problem is, the script doesnโ€™t allow the kids enough time to transcend the stereotypes. For reasons that are beyond explanation, it puts the Keanu characterโ€™s gambling dilemma at the forefront. Instead of watching the kids join together as a team and an in-depth study of the childrenโ€™s rough home life in the projects, we get the drama of Reeves sweating it out during the final seconds of a basketball game heโ€™s bet the farm on.

The kidsโ€™ baseball team is nothing but a sideshow in this movie, a small part of the Reeves characterโ€™s redemption. There is so little time spent on the baseball diamond that Hardball canโ€™t even qualify as a sports movie. Itโ€™s a sports gambling movie, and Reeves, while likable in his moments with the kids, is completely overwrought and laughable as a nervous gambler.

Iโ€™m well aware that the world is full of Keanu haters, and Iโ€™m not one of them. Iโ€™ve actually found him to be a decent, enjoyable actor on many occasions. This film wonโ€™t do much to earn him new fans and qualifies as one of his worst performances since Bram Stokerโ€™s Dracula. He has no control of his arms during his rants, flailing them around like evil bugs are attacking him during his monologues. I wanted to jump into the movie with a roll of electrical tape and bind those suckers.

The kids donโ€™t get enough time to establish themselves as individual characters, but DeWayne Warren as Jarius โ€œG-Babyโ€ makes an impression. Warren is this filmโ€™s equivalent of Bearsโ€˜ Tanner Boyle, the pipsqueak smart mouth with knowledge beyond his years. The scene where he negotiates a fellow ballplayerโ€™s contract with Reeves is one of the filmโ€™s better moments. Warrenโ€™s performance makes the filmโ€™s heavy dramatic turn toward the end quite moving.

The commercials for this one depict it as a good-time baseball movie appealing to youths. In reality, Hardball is just another film about a bottom feeder looking to improve his inner self, and Keanu Reeves is no Walter Matthau.

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