John Ascuaga’s Nugget
1100 Nugget Ave., Sparks, 356-3300
Hey dude!
Remember that big casino that you lost all that cash at? And remember how I told you that casinos aren’t built on winners? Well, guess what? One casino has a golden rooster engraved with your name on it. Well, OK, it doesn’t have your name. But John Ascuaga’s Nugget has a solid-gold rooster on display in the back of the casino. It’s made out of 18-karat solid gold, and it’s like a foot tall! The bird was sculpted back in the 1950s by some artist dude. But, check this out, the rooster went to jail! (Kinda like you did a while back.) Apparently, at one time it was illegal for a private individual to have more than 50 ounces—of gold, that is—in his possession. So the cock was confiscated. Dude, if you had more than 50 ounces, I’d be sending this card to you at a very different address. (Again.) Anyway, after “serving” two years, the rooster went to court and used the defense that the chunk of metal was art and not just a big-ass lump of gold. Well, the jury agreed and the rooster went free. Hey, maybe next time you get popped, you can use the “art” defense.
Still chillin’ in Reno,