So hasn’t this whole thing with the dumping of the vat of Gatorade on the hero of the game/winning coach become redonkulously tired already? I mean, strictly yawnsville, man. Jeez, it was getting old at about G-Dump number 677, and time hasn’t done a whole lot to refresh this nasty little gag.

This country didn’t go into a national seizure when all the state legislatures began passing laws making it mandatory to purchase auto insurance. Right? Or was I living in a cave at that time? Where were all these tea-sucking kooks when that was going down? You know what the penalty is in 2014 for those who don’t buy mandatory health insurance? 95 bucks. That’s it. So STFU and GTFO.

This story about the nickname of D.C.’s NFL team has legs. Thick, hairy ones, with mangled surgical scars on each knee. More and more sports columnists and talk show hosts feel compelled to declare their position on the issue, and an angle that’s getting time in the sportlight spotlight lately is the viewpoint of Native Americans. The one study that everybody cites is one that states 90 percent of natives weren’t bugged by the Redskin name. But, there are just a couple of problems with that study. (1) It’s old. 2004. That’s awhile ago. (2) It’s small. Sample size of 768. That’s not instantly dismissible, no. But it’s close.

Time for a new study, while this story is hot. Take the temp now, with a basic sample size of 1,000. I’d be much more trusting of an updated, legit survey. If it’s true that the majority of Indians don’t give a flying Fudgsicle about this Redskin jazz, dandy. I’ll be happy to take my guilt-ridden PC honky ass down the line to the next crucial social issue. Far be it from me to force my righteousness upon those who think it sucks. Something tells me, though, that the results of a survey in 2013 would be a bit different than that one in ’04. Just a hunch.

If the ‘Skins did decide to bow to pressure and change their name, there is one old Washington nickname that is (1) well established in sports history and (2) currently available. It’s a name that, in the past, wasn’t particularly terrifying. Not like Lions or Pirates. But now, well, now its power to make blood chill and hearts go positively arrhythmic has grown exponentially. Of course I’m talking about the name used by Washington’s baseball teams for decades: The Senators. Eeeekkk!

I’ve been raving a bunch about the AMC program Breaking Bad. While watching the rally in Washington this past week presided over by Texas Sen. Ted Cruz and Utah Sen. Mike Lee, I couldn’t help but think of another popular AMC show—Mad Men. I mean, here they are, doing more than their fair share to close down the government. Then, they’re out at some military memorial in D.C., rousing the rabble about it being closed. Kafkaesque, man!

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