Total Recall

: Just when I was starting to really like Colin Farrell, he’s become the poster child for pointless remakes of great films. Granted, his turn as a sexy-nasty vampire in the Fright Night remake was fun to watch, but that movie didn’t live up to the original. Now we get this junk, with Farrell occupying the role of Douglas Quaid/Hauser, made famous by a little guy named Arnold Schwarzenegger. This remake jettisons the humor, crazy gore, and Mars locations, resulting in one majorly dull sci-fi chase film. Kate Beckinsale is the best thing in the movie, stepping into the role made famous by Sharon Stone and wearing underwear like a true champ. There are a few nods to the Paul Verhoeven original—a three breasted hooker and a twist on the infamous airport security scene—and they feel unjustified. Wiseman’s film has little nods to the far better original scattered throughout. These nods create a craving to leave the theater and watch the original on Blu-ray.

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