Battle: Los Angeles is an alien invasion movie about as interesting as a session of Battleship between two pensive eighth graders playing the game for the first time. Featuring an alien species that looks like giant, ancient carpenter ants, the movie is nothing more than a big cinematic cheat. Aaron Eckhart plays a marine getting set to retire when aliens invade Los Angeles, effectively ruining his chances to take a break. The occasional long shot tells us that the movie is, in fact, taking place in L.A., but you wouldn’t know that from most of the locales. The marines fight the battles in smoke filled streets, abandoned police stations and suburban backyards. The aliens themselves are the most boring aliens Hollywood has offered up since Cocoon: The Return. All in all, it’s just a sloppy, loud mess.

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