Russell Crowe sports his Gladiator haircut once again for director Ridley Scott in this disastrously boring, aimless and dour take on the infamous archer. This one has a lot in common with Scott’s equally dreadful Kingdom of Heaven, which also managed to spend a lot of money on epic scale production while failing to assemble a script that could keep viewers awake. Rather than taking the legendary character and giving him some rousing adventures, Scott and company opt for the origin story, and it turns out that Robin Hood’s origins are about as interesting as a can of green beans. Crowe plays Robin Longstride, a soldier in the army of King Richard the Lionheart (Danny Huston). Robin is dissatisfied with the reckless King and his plundering ways, and we know this because Crowe plays him with an eternal sourpuss, as if he’d rather be playing golf than toiling for Scott in his latest folly. The duo of Scott and Crowe has officially worn out its welcome. Cate Blanchett also stars.

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